Top 10 Happenings in New Orleans 2011 Adventure

10. New Orleans Streets and Sidewalks:  Bumbling and stumbling through the seemingly war stricken streets of New Orleans was interesting.  The 6-inch tall cracks and random crater potholes did me in more than a few times on my daily walks through the city.  I did pretty well though for a blind guy.  Only stumbled like 10 times.   

9.  The next America’s Got Talent Superstar: This tuba player thinks he is really good but his tooting was not most rhythmic of tunes.  He would be great for one of those audition blunders in America’s Got Talent.

 8.  Daily Runs on St. Charles St:   The St. Charles trolley tracks and the dirt next to them are probably the greatest place to run NOLA.  The trick to running this route is dodging the oncoming trolley.  Safety is not a high priority in NOLA as it is totally acceptable for small children to ride their cruiser bikes and play on these tracks.  Only in NOLA J

7.  MSU Beads:  On my search for beads to throw out to the crowd during the race I discovered Sparty beads and of course had to buy them.  I then proceeded to wear them during the race and kissed the Sparty whenever I needed a little pick me up.  Sparty got kissed 5-6 times during the race.  It was a GREAT day to be a SPARTAN!

6.  First Trip to the Daiquiri Store:  Never before have I been to a daiquiri store with tons of frozen daiquiri machines lining the walls.  So many flavors to choose from it was so hard to decide.  Tommy kept trying to get me to go with the 190 Anti-Freeze but I knew his motives for selecting that flavor.  I went with the Mudslide and it was so tasty J  Right after the Ironman 70.3 race of course. 

5.  Coffee??? What’s That?:  My daily walks involved attempting to find a coffee shop .  The key word is attempt.  Coffee in New Orleans is like non-existent.  At one point I found a street called Magazine St. and thought I was sure to hit jackpot.  With a name like Magazine St. there should only be coffee shops, bookstores and magazine stands allowed.  I did find a coffee shop on Magazine St but it wasn’t easy and it was cash only.  Hmmmm??

4.  NOLA 70.3:  The actual race and reason I was in NOLA was awesome but didn’t make the top 3 happenings.  The swim got canceled because of rough waters in “The Pontchartrain”.  The race became a bike-run event.  I brought out my handcuff sunglasses and tons of beads for the run and passed them out along the course.  I nearly passed out by mile 11 as I bonked pretty hard.  I regrouped at the final turn on Decatur St. in the French Quarter and riled up the crowd as Brad and I finished in Jackson Square.  I then went to the med tent for a few IV’s.  Fun Times (haha) 

3.  Pirate Week is Back:  On Thursday we were pleasantly surprised to discover it was pirate week again just like 2 years prior at this race.  We quickly were corrected by our new dirty friend Victoria that it was not Pirate Week, it was Shore Leave.  Victoria so kindly offered us some rum that she stored at cleavage temperature.  Although tempting, we declined the cleavage run and instead decided to meet some of Victoria’s other pirate friends. 

2.  Acme Oyster Shucker:  We made a trip to the famous Acme Oyster House and got a lovely seat at the oyster bar where we got to know the oyster shucker.  This guy was probably 6ft 5in and 250lbs.  When we told him that we would be swimming in Lake Pontchartrain he responded.

                 “Ya’ll swimm' in the PONTCHARTRAIN (emphasized)?  No way, I gotta see this.  There are things in there that will                 eat you alive.  Go over to the fishing area and they pull out catfish longer than this bar.  I remember back in 85’ when     it was clean and we used to swim there but no one swim in the PONTCHARTRAIN now.  What time you start? I gotta     see this.  I’m gonna ride my electric blue bike (motorcycle) out there and see this. “ 

  This guy was absolutely hilarious.  Also, I asked if they had any Sweet Tea on their menu.  His response,

                “We in LUsiana, this ain’t Alabama. None of that here.”

We never saw the guy on the morning of the race but then again we never swam in the PONTCHARTRAIN!

1.  Dirty Victoria Whips Tom:  Quite possibly one of the funniest things I have seen in years occurred when our dirty pirate friend Victoria decided she would pull out her Kangaroo Tail whip and demonstrate her skills on Tommy.  In her own words Victoria explained “a kangaroo lost its life so I could tear the s### out of you.”  She then ordered, “Tom, get over there!”, and began snapping her whip on Tom’s behind.  This was all caught on video and the best way to explain this event is to watch it.  Find this video on my personal Facebook page.