This blog was written by RET The Wonder Dog and gives his side of the story on a recent incident.
Hello everyone, I need to give my version of an incident that happened very recently. I hope you all feel my pain and see the situation through my eyes.
I recently was left home alone while mom & dad went out with some strangers. I never get left home & when I do I am not happy. I don't know why mom & dad give any attention towards other people in this world. I mean, I give all my attention to them & worry about them if they get more than 10ft from me. Sometimes I think they don't respect me for who I am. After all, I am "The King". Even Labron James needs to step aside when I am present.
They left me free to roam in the house and that was kind of nice but still not the treatment I deserve. After they closed the door on me I sat patiently by the door for an hour waiting for them to come back but they didn't so I found a nice comfy spot on the entry rug and curled up and took a nap. I don't sleep very well when mom and dad are not right next to me. My anxiety began building and my heart started racing. My anxiety turned into anger so I decided to scavenger around for something to get into and tear up. I began sniffing around with my nose to find some good smells but my sniffing abilities could use some work. I jumped ont he couch and found my toys like "Franky and BAMA" but I can rip those apart any time I want. I was looking for something that I know I shouldn't get into Human food was most optimal.
After running up and down the stairs and jumping on the bed a few times I finally came across a bag that those strangers had left at the bottom of the stairs. If I could find something to destroy in this bag, I would really get mommy and daddy's attention. I put my paws in the bag and snooped around a bit. There was two boxes that smelled kind of like that stuff daddy always eats after dinner and doesn't share with me. I wasn't sure if that's what it was and there was only one way to find out, tear it open. I grabbed the box with my claws and teeth and tore open the box. I pushed aside the paper and struck jackpot. There were two square blocks covered by that shiny silver stuff that I remember when I ate 14 Fun Size Kit Kat bars and those really good Peanut Butter cups. I was so excited I couldn't stop myself so I tore open the shiny wrapping and began scarfing down the sweet treats that daddy likes the most. When I got done with the first one, I was feeling amped up and so I dove into the next human delight. I ate both of these bars so fast I don't even remember chewing them. I left all my mess at the bottom of the stairs for mommy and daddy to pick up.
I was so amped up following destroying those stranger's belongings that I began running wind sprints up and down the stairs, jumping up and down off anything I saw. I think I could have even run one of those dumb 26 mile things that daddy does all the time I had so much energy. I hate running and I hate when daddy puts me on that dang leash and takes me on his pointless jaunts. He thinks I must like it but I would rather just sit on someone's lap and sleep.
After about 30min of running around like a psycho maniac high on some sore of super stimulant, I began to feel very strange. My stomach started rumbling and I became very weak and nauseous. I knew this was not going to end well. I also knew if I went down to the hard wood than mommy and daddy could clean up the mess I was about to make very easily. However, if I stayed on the carpet than I would really make them think twice about leaving me when they leave. I chose to stay on the carpet. It wasn't long and I felt an eruption coming on. Within seconds of this rumbling, everything inside of me came out. Just when I thought everything that I had gotten into was out and I began to walk to the stairs another eruption came and I was sure I had left my mark.
After these episodes, I began to feel much more like myself and decided to head back down by the door and anxiously await the return of mommy and daddy so I could show them what I had done. I hadn't been waiting long when I heard daddy talking to those strangers and approaching the door. They opened the door and I did my normal emotional excited but needy greeting. When they got to the 2nd floor stairs, one of the strangers said something to daddy. I don't know what they said but immediately daddy came over and picked me up by my neck and violently threw my nose into the remnants of shiny wrapping I had left at the bottom of the stairs. He yelled at me and even gave me a little slap. I knew I had done something I shouldn't do but I felt like daddy was being a little abusive. He was sticking up for those strangers more than he was for me. I thought to myself, "just wait til he goes upstairs then he will really see my wrath."
As he got to the top of the steps he looked back down and yelled at the strangers to come up. Then he went into the bedroom and yelled again. He came down yelled at me again and picked me up again by my neck. For the next hour he worked on trying to undue my destruction but he couldn't. Next time he won't mess with "The King".
Thanks for reading my account of this incident. I hope you feel for me and can encourage my mommy and daddy to have a little more respect for me in the future
RET The Wonder Dog